I know this is an old conversation. But for some reason it never loses its relevance. Well to me mostly. No matter how many women assure me that size does not matter, I still am not satisfied with the size of my penis. Savage twitter bitches always get me insecure about my penis. Some shit about my penis reaching my belly button. Or some crazy clap back which stipulates a man cannot talk of how big his dick is if half of it is his ego.
Damn! I was not ready for that. What really amazes me is that no man ever admits to having a small penis. Or rather, no man gives out the exact size of his penis. Even in an anonymous survey. So should I be comfortable because all these men are just lying about the size of their penis? Maybe. Still though, I get emotional when penile size conversations start.
I have tried using Google to search for penis size surveys. But hey, remember no man really tells the truth. Unless of course he has a huge penis. Then he has no reason to hide. Watching porn when you have a small penis is horrible. All those dudes have amazing members. Like I even feel the pain when they rim those pussies. Personally, I stay away from the BBC section of any porn site. I just feel better that way.
I do not know if any other man has a penis that behaves like mine. I remember a few years back after I had sex with one girl, she exclaimed that my penis was a midget when dormant but competant when erect. Which is true. My penis is rather small when I am not erect. But develops some anaconda tendencies when I get excited. l have always thought this was normal. Well only until I started peeking at other men’s members at bar urinals. I see them with penises that fill their palms. While it only takes my thumb and index finger to hold mine. Gosh, this is painful. At those exact times I start to ponder the meaning of life. Like, what the fuck do these things get to when they are erect? Because mine grows by 200% when it gets erect. What do these people’s penises grow to?
See my predicament!
But now it becomes difficult to ask other men what happens to their penises. You know. Just one of those conversations we never have as men. You never want to seem insecure. Just like how I never buy those huge English cucumbers. Function of the ego.
Like what really matters? Girth? Length? Both? I remember an inappropriate drunk night with one of my ex-girlfriends. She had dumped me for another guy and we had just hooked back up. She asked me find something on her phone and I came across a chat with her bestie. And I was the topic of discussion. How nice! The best friend was questioning why she would get back with me when I was an asshole. Breaking up with an amazing dude. Under numerous reasons listed, one of them was that his penis was long and thin. She explained how she wanted her pussy chocked (i assume my dick did this) and not feel like she was being poked by a pencil. So his penis was long, which was good. But it was also thin, which was undesirable apparently. For a moment I felt good. But that did not end my dick’s napoleon complex.
On the plus side, I have taken great care to enhance my foreplay game. Just to make sure I get good reviews. But still, it haunts me. I need to know whether my penis is big or small. Just average maybe. This to me is the meaning of life! Like where do I rank? Do those huge penises I see at bar urinals not get much bigger when blood rushes? Like where the fuck does my dick sit on the spectrum? I need to know!